Isn’t it amazing how words spoken can be locked up in the makeup of an individual for a lifetime? I reflect on some of the things that were said to me as a child, and remember just how harsh kids can be, you are so ugly, you are too black, too light, too skinny, too short. I also think back to some of the actions, I was picked up by my head, placed in trash cans (because I was too small to get out). Yeah, some of it is funny now, but if you aren’t careful it’s a slippery slope to allow some of those things to invade your mind and wreck your self-confidence.
For years I struggled with self-confidence. Was I good enough? Did I look cool/sexy/athletic? All sorts of mess. The reality is many of us are still walking around wounded from words spoken long ago. And of course, they said it “jokingly” but there was “truth” somewhere in it.
The crazy part is what we measure ourselves against many times is a facade. We look at social media profiles and the “perfect images” posted and we compare ourselves to them. Checking magazines and desiring to look just like the cover models. We have fallen into the trap of comparison however, we are comparing apples to oranges. I happen to be pretty advanced in photoshop and let me say how easy it is to manipulate images. You can add, subtract to the extent that the final product looks nothing like the original. So what are you really comparing yourself to? A fake? Yeah, I know you know but we can’t keep comparing our behind the scenes to the highlight reels of others. Don’t even get me started on how many pictures we take and delete before we finally post them online.
It wasn’t until the day that I started to see myself in the eyes of the one who created me that the shift came, and I’m not talkin about my mom and dad. God said I am fearfully and wonderfully made, which means that I’m the height I am on purpose (no, I don’t wish I were a little bit taller…), I have the skin color I do on purpose, my eye color is on purpose and even the size of by head is on purpose. Once my perspective changed and I started seeing me, the way HE sees me (I ain’t got no worries). Now that doesn’t stop people from taking but what it does is prevent me from receiving and allowing words to undermine what I already know, “I am blessed and highly favored”.
I was listening to my Pastor a while ago and he was dealing with dysfunction and breaking cycles within our families. Part of the problem is that many people can’t fight to break something they haven’t overcome themselves. Some of our children are suffering from low self-esteem because we still do and while we said “sticks and stones will break our bones but words will never hurt us” it was one of the biggest lies ever told. Because we are responding to the same hurt 20 years later spending tons of money to look “better”.
Its imperative that we shift our perspective to help our children and their children see that they are BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, INCREDIBLE and AMAZING, no matter what the magazines or social media say. Or even those hateful words that come from a bully who is secretly wishing they were you. Step up and see how incredible God made you! Don’t let anyone define you, because the only one that can define something is the creator. And last time I checked, you ain’t make me (excuse the grammar) so you surely won’t define me.
So today do whatever you need to do to shift your perspective so that you see who you really are. There may be some things we need to do to take care of the awesome self that God made us to be. Exercise is important, rest is important, eating right is important, feeding our spirit man is important. Break the cycle so that the generations to come can live without fear and apprehension. Break the cycle so they can shine and realize how beautiful they are, “Just the way you are” (thanks Bruno).
We (my family and I) will SHINE, because that’s what we were made to do. “What good is a light that’s hidden…” Our shine should never be at anyone else’s expense because we were all designed to shine. So lets ALL raise up, the world would be a brighter place and Lord knows we need it! Break the cycle, allow your self-confidence to shine and be BeYOUtiful U! It’s ok to celebrate you. Rock that Birthday photo shoot. Renew your headshots. Dress up and do something fun, let your self-confidence flow!